I don't care what all the 'celebs' say - this is most definitely a grueling endurance test, not really a battle or a journey. You just have to find your own inner strength to get you through it. I'm not sure that I've found mine yet - I hope it's lurking around here somewhere!
Today was final results day and as usual it was a bit of a mixed bag and I'll try and explain it as best I can.
The main lobular invasive tumour was 5cm, which when added to the rest of the cancerous areas meant that a large part of my breast had cancer in it, so it was absolutely the right decision to remove the whole breast. Instead of removing all my lymph nodes the surgeon opted to remove the bottom half and of those 4 were found to have cancer cells in them. The good news is that he's pretty confident that I will require no further surgery - yippee!
The crappy part of the bag (all that stuff that you don't want to look at!) is that I will definitely be having chemo and probably radiotherapy too. The chemo will be started just before Christmas - what a nice present to look forward to! I guess I'd better start dropping hints to the family about wigs and head scarves as presents then! My Breast Care Nurse said that it was likely that my treatment will take up the better part of the next year - gulp!
It couldn't be confirmed at this stage whether I am HER 2+ as there was a problem with the histology so it's been sent away for further testing. This will ensure that the oncologist has all the information to hand before she decides on my treatment plan. I will get to meet her in 2/3 week's time and then we will discuss the exact nature of treatment.
One thing everyone is completely certain of is that checking my breasts regularly and going to my GP the moment I spotted a problem most definitely saved my life.
Right now I'm back on the bus to limbo land. I have a lot to think about and take in and I'm back in that weird 'surely this is happening to someone else?' place at the moment. I am hugely relieved at the knowledge that no further surgery is thought necessary and that whilst I have to face getting through chemo, I will be coming out the other side of it, even if that's going to take a little longer than I'd first planned for.
I'll keep posting here as often as I can - although the wonders of BT and its amazingly poor broadband service in our area means that it won't be quite as often as I hope. Now however I am going to wallow in a nice warm bath for a bit as I contemplate life, the universe and whether somewhere along the way, the answer really is '42'!
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